Life On Hold Read online

  His eyes locked on mine, and he leaned toward me again. Instinctively I leaned in too, knowing he was going to kiss me, wanting him to kiss me. His lips brushed mine, and I caught the faint scent of beer on his breath. Our lips had just met when he pulled back. “Is that your mother at the window?”

  “Where?” I whipped around to see a silhouetted figure framed by my living room window. I couldn’t see the face, but the person was short with curly hair. Kylie. Apparently they made it back before me, and Kylie remembered the secret key Mom and I kept on top of the doorframe. “No, that looks like Kylie. She and Allison are staying over.”

  “Yeah, you told me. It was your mother’s idea.”

  I waited a second to see if we could get the moment back. I was willing to settle for a good-bye hug or a kiss on the cheek—anything. Apparently, though, the doorway of opportunity had slammed shut.

  “I’ll see you at school then, okay?” he said.

  It was a dismissal if ever I heard one. What happened next is so out of character for me, I can barely believe I did it. As I was about to close the car door I paused and said, “Why don’t you plan on eating lunch at my table on Monday?”

  “Maybe. Sure, I could do that.” He looked thoughtful. “No, wait, count on it. I’ll be there for sure.”

  Chapter 18

  Kylie in Waiting

  Kylie met me at the door in worried-mother mode. “Rae, thank God you’re here! I wasn’t sure what to do, if I should call your mother, or go look for you—”

  “You didn’t call my mom, did you?”

  “No, but I was going to.” She led me into the living room, to show me Allison sleeping on the air mattress. From the light of the hallway, I could clearly see her sprawled on her back, one arm lifted over her head like she was about to wave. Her chest rose and fell with each breath. “I have so much to tell you.” Kylie was whispering now. “I feel terrible that we left without you, but Allison was hysterical, and she ran through all these people’s yards. We wound up like three blocks away, and Andy came right away when I called. You weren’t answering your phone, so I didn’t know what to do. Don’t be mad.”

  “I’m not mad.”

  She motioned for us to go into the kitchen. I got two sodas out of the fridge, and we sat at the table. The only light in the room came from the bulb over the stove. “So who drove you home?”

  “Nick Dunstan.”

  “Oh, he’s so nice. You missed it, but there was a big showdown with him and Blake at the bonfire. Nick asked why Blake didn’t invite his cousin, and Blake said Allison was a psycho bitch.” Kylie’s face contorted in anger. “Blake is such an asshole—he said she burned down her house and killed her parents, and he said it loud enough for everyone to hear. We were standing right there in the bushes when he said it. It was so terrible, Rae. If you had heard the horrible noise she made when he said it.” She shook her head. “She was in so much pain. Then Allison ran out and started hitting Blake and screamed that he was lying, and he started making fun of her. Then we left, like I told you. I didn’t know where you went and Allison was having a breakdown, so I kind of concentrated on helping her and hoped you would call or something. You aren’t upset with me, are you?”

  “No, it was just a big mix-up. I’m glad you handled things.”

  “I kept thinking you’d come out when Blake was being so mean to Allison, but you never did. Where were you?”

  “Me?” Think fast. “I went back to look for my cell phone. I must have dropped it when we were going through all those yards. I never did find it. And when I returned to the bonfire, you guys were gone.” Good lord, I was a quick liar. I pulled that one right out of my butt.

  Kylie smiled. “I figured as much. I told Allison you wouldn’t have ditched us. She really needs friends right about now.” She took a slug of her Dr Pepper. “But I do have good news for you.” She paused for effect. “I found your cell phone. It was here on your desk in your room the whole time.”

  “No wonder I couldn’t find it.”

  “Yep, when I tried calling you from here I heard it go off.”

  We both sat sipping our sodas, listening to the ticking of the kitchen clock. It occurred to me that I should say something about my ride home. If Nick just showed up at our table at school, she would wonder. “Nick Dunstan’s going to eat lunch with us on Monday. I invited him.” Part of me wanted to tell Kylie about the almost kiss, but it seemed premature, like I might jinx the whole thing if I talked about it too soon.

  “That’s cool. He’s a good guy. Did he tell you that he and Crystal broke up?”

  I nodded. “She dumped him for Trey Griffin.”

  “I don’t believe it!”

  “Believe it. I got it right from the source.”

  “Poor Nick.” Kylie traced her finger over the lip of the soda can. “And poor, stupid Crystal. She did not choose wisely.”

  “You know, I’m surprised our talking isn’t waking Allison up.” I looked in the direction of the living room. Voices carried in my small apartment, not to mention the noise from the people upstairs.

  “Allison isn’t waking up anytime soon. She took two of something from some prescription she had—Ambien, I think it’s called—and like ten minutes later she was dead to the world.”

  Chapter 19

  Morning Has Broken

  When I woke up the next morning, I was alone in the living room. The night before I’d opted for the couch, while Kylie slept on the loveseat, a not-too-bad fit for her. The queen-sized air mattress on the floor was all Allison’s, since she’d fallen asleep right smack-dab in the middle of it.

  Kylie and I’d talked for another hour or so after my arrival home. I asked Kylie if she thought there was any truth to Blake’s accusation about the fire at Allison’s house.

  “No,” she said emphatically. “Allison told me she doesn’t even remember much about that night, except waking up to smoke and then somehow finding her way outside. She was dizzy and confused, like it was a bad dream. When the fire department came, she realized her parents were still inside. She tried to go back into the house, but the firefighter guys held her back.”

  “So you don’t think she had anything to do with the fire? Maybe even accidentally?”

  From the horrified look on Kylie’s face I could tell I’d pushed it too far. “Not a chance. If you had seen how she reacted when Blake said she burned down the house, there wouldn’t be any doubt in your mind, Rae. Allison’s grieving, she’s completely wrecked.” She blinked back tears. “I can’t even imagine what she’s going through. She’s lost everything.”

  When my mom came home from the comedy club (well after midnight, I might add), we decided to head for bed. It was too late to fill Gina in on the night’s events. Besides I wanted to talk to her in private. I gave her a good-night hug, set up my blankets and pillow on the couch, and fell into a deep sleep.

  Now I awoke to the smell of coffee and cigarettes. I heard voices coming from the kitchen. Rubbing my eyes, I listened but couldn’t make out the words. Two people talking—one my mom, but I wasn’t sure of the other. Finally I was able to place the voice. Allison.

  I grabbed my blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders, then trundled into the kitchen.

  “Morning, sleepyhead,” Gina said, while Allison flashed a thin-lipped smile. It might have been my imagination, but she didn’t look too happy to see me. Both of them had coffee in front of them; Allison had both hands wrapped around her mug.

  “Good morning. Where’s Kylie?”

  “Her dad picked her up an hour ago. You were sleeping so soundly we just let you be. She said to tell you she’d call later.”

  The tile floor was cold against my bare feet. I pulled the blanket more tightly around me.

  “We were actually just heading out,” my mother said, pushing a piece of paper across the table for me to see. Rae, Allison and I went to the store. My cell is on. Love, Mom. At the top of the page she’d put the time: 11:50 a.m. Man, I really did
sleep late.

  “Why are you going to the store?”

  “Allison just needs some things for school.” Gina reached over and patted Allison’s arm. “Her aunt never seems to get around to it, so I said I’d be glad to help out. It shouldn’t take too long. We’ll be back in an hour or so.”

  “Can’t I go with you?”

  They exchanged a glance, and then Gina said, “Honestly, Rae, we were literally just about to leave. If you were ready to go, I’d say sure, come along, but by the time you take a shower, eat, and get dressed, we’ll be back already.”

  She knew me so well. There was no way I was going anywhere without taking a shower. “Okay,” I said, “but don’t have any fun without me.”

  “Never,” my mom said, flashing me a smile. She fished in her purse and pulled out her keys. “Ready?” she asked Allison.

  I heard them laughing in the hallway as they exited the building. After they left I cleaned up their mess, emptying the ashtray and washing the coffee mugs before I sat down to my bowl of Lucky Charms. I was thinking over the events of last night, and it was then that it hit me—Allison was the only one of us three who hadn’t revealed a secret.

  Chapter 20

  Monday, Monday, Can’t Trust That Day

  My mom and Allison returned from shopping with a new backpack and some assorted school supplies. Allison was pretty excited about it, which was good I guess, especially considering her trauma from the night before. After we drove Allison home, we stopped at Taco Bell, always a good thing.

  Is it bad that I wasted the rest of Saturday and all of Sunday wishing for Monday? I couldn’t stop thinking about Nick, about that brief moment in the car when his lips were against mine. I wondered what would have happened if Kylie hadn’t been looking out the window just then. Would he have asked me out for Saturday night? Confessed that he’d secretly liked me for weeks? I envisioned the conversation we might have had, the kissing we would have done. He was so easy to be with—I definitely felt that click that girls always talked about, but I’d never experienced.

  On Monday morning, I passed him twice in the halls. The first time he didn’t see me. He had his backpack looped over one shoulder and was wearing a gray T-shirt with a skull on the front. With his head down, like he was climbing a hill, I was clearly able to see the adorable spiral cowlick on the crest of his head. The second time I saw him we were going the same direction. I came up from behind and fake-bumped into him. Nick turned and looked irritated until he saw it was me. Then he smiled. “Hey, Rae.”

  “We’re still on for lunch, right?”

  “Absolutely.”

  I would have liked to talk longer, but at that point our schedules reached a crossroads: he went right, and I had to keep going straight. I didn’t mind because I knew all I had to do was get through two classes and I’d see him in the cafeteria.

  My thoughts of lunch with Nick were interrupted when my name was announced over the loudspeaker in health. “Mrs. Fricker, could you send Rae Maddox down to the office, please?”

  The kid behind me poked my back, and predictably, the whole class made that noise, “Oooh…,” the one they always made when someone got called down to the office. The assumption was that the one being summoned was in some kind of trouble, and usually that was true. I was hoping, though, that in my case it was Mr. Smedley, relieving me of my Allison duties. I would gladly give up the job.

  “Rae?” Mrs. Fricker said, holding out her custom-made hall pass. She’d laminated it onto a wooden paddle. Hard to lose and impossible to duplicate. I took it from her and left my things at my desk. The hour had only just started, and I was sure I wouldn’t be gone too long.

  Sweet freedom. I felt it walking down the hall, the wooden paddle swinging by my side, and I knew I’d really feel it once Mr. Smedley let me get rid of the Allison noose. I still had her in most of my classes and at lunch, and I’d continue to be friendly, but she wouldn’t be my responsibility.

  The office lady looked up when I came up to the counter. “Oh good, Rae.” I leaned forward and waited for her to tell me I could go right into the vice principal’s office, but instead she got up and handed me a slip of paper. “You’re all set then, for your dental appointment.”

  “What?” I looked down at the half sheet in front of me. At the top it said, “Excused Absence.” My name and that day’s date were listed in the spaces below. Underneath was written: Dental appointment, teeth cleaning. Will pick up in front of the west entrance at 12:15. “I think,” I said slowly, “there must be some kind of mistake. I don’t have an appointment today.”

  She tsked sympathetically. “This happens more often than you think. A lot of students forget about doctor’s visits. Luckily their parents usually remember.” Her smile was a little condescending, I thought. “I didn’t take the call, Miss Jensen did. She’s new, but she’s very thorough, always repeats everything back when she takes phone messages. There’s no mistake, you’ll see.”

  I was puzzled. Also mystified, baffled, and perplexed. Gina and I had just gone to the dentist not that long ago. At least it seemed like it was recently. Could it have been six months already? I folded the paper and put it in my pocket. Okay then, I was going to the dentist. Having the afternoon off wouldn’t be so bad. At least I didn’t have any tests scheduled. The good part was that I didn’t have to leave until after lunch, so I could still see Nick.

  My unexpected dental appointment was still on my mind two hours later when I went into the lunchroom. Kylie and Mason were already at the table. There was no sign of Allison or Nick, but the line for hot lunch was long and I figured they’d catch up to us eventually. I slid in next to Mason and opened my brown paper bag to pull out my stuff: sandwich, Doritos, vitamin water. “Hey, guess what? I get to leave school after lunch.”

  “I wish I was leaving,” Mason said. “I have AP Economics next. Man, I really am not enjoying it.”

  “You’re only a sophomore. Why do you always sign up for those hard classes?” Kylie asked. “They can really kill your GPA if things don’t go well.”

  “I have to. It’s family tradition. All the Mihashi boys aim high. It’s what we do.”

  How did we get off the topic of me? “Doesn’t anyone even care why I’m leaving early?”

  Mason opened a bag of baby carrots. “I care a little bit. Share please.” He held a carrot between two fingers like it was a cigar.

  “I’m going to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned.” I clamped my teeth together and widened my lips so they could get a good view.

  “I have never heard anyone so excited about going to the dentist,” he said. “You are in serious need of help.”

  Kylie smiled slyly. “Obviously Rae’s oral health is really important to her.”

  “Stop already,” I said. “It’s not that I’m excited to go to the dentist, it’s that I’m happy to be getting out. My mom never told me about the appointment, but she called it in to the office. This is like a bonus afternoon off. Right after lunch she’s going to pick me up at the west door.”

  “Ah, the west door. That’s my favorite one.” Mason raised an arm to wave at someone on the other side of the room. I looked up to follow his gesture and saw Nick walking in our direction, holding a tray. “Look lively, Rae. Here comes your boyfriend.” He poked me in the side with his elbow. “Heh, heh, heh.”

  “Shhh…” I gave Kylie, the little blabbermouth, my best dagger look. She just laughed.

  “Is this seat taken?” Nick asked. He motioned to the spot next to me, then sat down before I could answer.

  “I was saving it just for you.” Man, I was bold. He nodded and grinned. There was definitely something going on between us. I just wasn’t sure what yet.

  Allison walked up then and slid wordlessly next to Kylie on the opposite side of the table. Kylie put half her sandwich on a napkin and slid it over to share. “Thanks, Allison. Here Rae has a guy on either side of her, and I’m sitting all by myself. I’m glad someone wants to sit next
to me.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know why everyone is always avoiding you,” Mason said. “Your scabies are hardly noticeable anymore.” He leaned forward and extended a hand to Nick. “Welcome to our little group. There aren’t many of us, but we’re all cool.” Honestly, Mason was such a geek. Really funny at times, but still a geek.

  They shook hands in the space in front of my chest, and then Nick said, “Glad to be here.” He released his grip and sat back. “I’d like to thank Rae for inviting me. If not for her, I would have been table-less today. A very sad thing.”

  Allison came to attention. “Why aren’t you at Blake’s table?”

  Nick made a slicing gesture across his throat. “I was banished.”

  “Why were you banished?” Allison asked.

  “Because I’m not going out with Crystal anymore. I thought they were my friends. Turns out, I was wrong.”

  “They actually said you couldn’t eat lunch with them?” Kylie asked.

  “Not in so many words. I figured it out when no one would talk to me all morning.”

  Allison tipped her head in that direction. “So what would happen if you went over there right now and sat down with them?”

  Nick shrugged. “They wouldn’t body slam me, if that’s what you’re getting at. I could probably sit there if I wanted to, but I don’t want to.”

  There was a long silence, the only noise the sound of Mason crunching on carrots.

  “Well, who wants friends like that anyway?” Kylie said, looking around the table, and we all nodded in agreement.

  “That happens a lot,” Allison said, her tone serious. “People you care about turn on you, and then you’re on your own. You don’t think it will happen, but it does.”

  I sat up straight, startled by her words. Could she mean me? Did she know I’d been hiding in the bushes at Blake’s bonfire and hadn’t come to help her? I had to know. “Are you talking about one of us?”